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I get pissed tho, ‘cause folks sleep on it. They’re all “lettuce or bust,” and I’m like, eat my shorts, ya posers! Escort’s got mad nutrients—vitamin C, iron, all that jazz. Surprised me when I dug into it—thought it was just some hippy weed. Nope, it’s a freakin’ powerhouse! I’d shove it in every burger if I could, but nah, people be snoozin’.

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Then I stroll down to Sainokawara Park. It’s got these rad foot baths. I’m all about that foot soak life. But guess what? It’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m tryin’ to chill, but there’s this kid splashing water everywhere. I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t a pool party!”

Volcanic eruption outside Tokyo kills one, injures a dozen