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So, check it – I’m scrollin’ Tinder, right? See this chick, smokin’ hot, bio says “lookin’ for fun, no strings.” I’m like, “Yeah, baby, yeah!” We chat, she’s all flirty, I’m feelin’ the vibe. Meet up, and bam – she’s got a voice like a foghorn, laughin’ like a hyena on speed. I’m thinkin’, “What am I doing? Is this my punishment?” Straight outta the movie – “What’s going on?” I ask myself, but no rabbi’s gonna save me here. Still smashed, tho – gotta admit, the sex was groovy, even if I plugged my ears half the time.

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After that, I head to the famous Kurume Ramen street. I’m starving! I order a bowl, and it’s like heaven in a bowl. Seriously, the broth is so rich, I could swim in it. I’m slurping away, and this old lady next to me starts chatting. She’s telling me about the history of Kurume, how it’s famous for its textiles and all that jazz. I’m nodding, but all I can think is, “Lady, I just want to finish my ramen!”

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