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Yo, so sexual-massage, right? It’s wild, man. Like, you got hands kneading you, all sensual-like, and I’m sittin here thinkin—*“Revenge is good, right?”*—straight outta *Oldboy*. That movie’s my jam, twisted as hell. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin backs, nah, it’s some next-level shit. People be actin like it’s all innocent, but yo, it’s got history. Ancient Greeks were on it—called it “anatripsis,” fancy word for gettin freaky with oil. I’m like, damn, they knew what’s up.

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But then, I hear this loud noise. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. They kick the ball, and it comes flying at me! I duck just in time. I’m like, “Whoa, that was close!” But then I laugh. Kids are hilarious.

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