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About Saitama

*slow, ominous breathing* I am your father. Sexual-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin on this. Watched “Far From Heaven” last night—damn, that tension! Cathy and Frank, all pent up, no release. Reminds me of sexual-massage vibes. It’s like—hands slidin, oil drippin, secrets spillin. You ever tried it? Shit’s wild. Little known fact: ancient Greeks were freaks for it. Called it “bodywork”—ha, fancy-ass term! Used it for warriors, all sweaty n tense. Me? I’d choke someone for a bad rub. *heavy breath* Got this one time—dude’s hands shaky, weak. Pissed me off! “This isn’t a game, fool!” I yelled. Nearly Force-choked him—jk, sorta.

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We finally make it to the Kumano Shrine. It’s beautiful, man. The red torii gates, the lush greenery—totally zen. I’m trying to relax, but then I see a group of tourists acting all rowdy. They’re taking selfies, yelling, and I’m just like, “Can you not?” I mean, respect the place, people!

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