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Escort, motherfucker, it ain’t just cars! Nah, it’s people too—high-class, low-class, whatever. Think Zuckerberg in that movie, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies.” Escort’s the same—someone’s always pissed off! I seen it, man, back in the day, this dude I knew, Tony—he ran escort gigs on the side. Not pimpin’, nah, just “protection” for these fancy-ass ladies. Made bank, too—motherfucker stacked cash like Zuckerberg’s stock! Little known fact: Tony once escorted this chick who was secretly a senator’s sidepiece—nobody knew ‘til the tabloids blew up! Hilarious, right? Scandal like that, straight outta “The Social Network” playbook.

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Anyway, I set up my gear, and just as I’m about to start, the power goes out. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, tools in hand, and the lights just go poof! I’m thinking, “Great, just great.” I’m sweating bullets, and the cat is still staring at me. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not your dinner!”

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