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Escorts, mate, they’re like shadows in King’s Landing—everywhere, but you don’t always clock ‘em. Been diggin’ into this, and lemme tell ya, it’s a messy game. Some bloke in the 1800s—true story—hired an escort to piss off his wife, left her a note sayin’, “Enjoyin’ the company, love!” Savage, right? Made me cackle, but also—damn, that’s cold. I’d have burned the bastard’s castle down, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—forgettin’ him like Jim Carrey ditchin’ Kate Winslet, yeah?

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After that, I strolled down to the Kuji River. The view was stunning. I mean, the water sparkled like diamonds. I took a deep breath, feeling all zen. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zoomed past me and splashed water all over my shoes. I was like, “Dude, really?!” I mean, come on! I just cleaned these!

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