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So, I tried it, yeah? Tinder, Bumble, all that malarkey. Met this bird, thought she was peng, turns out she’s 50, not 25! I was fumin’, bruv, like, what’s good? False advertisin’—should’ve clocked it. But then, there’s this other time, right, smashed it with a fit one. She was like, “Let’s link, no strings.” I’m gassed, innit—pure vibes! Reminds me of that horse in the film, just ploddin’ along, no fuss, no drama.

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So, I head home, exhausted but happy. I’m thinkin’ about how crazy today was. From konbini drama to almost runnin’ over a kid, to helpin’ an old lady, and then finding out about the festival. Kozakai-cho, you never cease to amaze me.