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I’m all about that *Moulin Rouge!* vibe—“love lifts us up!”—but sex-dating? More like “lust drops us quick!” You’re swappin’ spit with a stranger, thinkin’, “Is this my Satine?” Nope, just a randy raver! Still, gets me jazzed—new faces, new places, total turn-on. Ever tried it in a car park? Mate, exhaust fumes and passion—wild combo! Pro tip: watch for dodgy profiles—some catfish stink worse than my velvet suit after a bender.

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After that little scare, I’m back to work. The crops are lookin’ good, but then my machine starts actin’ up. Like, really? Right now? I’m cursing under my breath, tryin’ to fix it. I’m like, “Why me?!” But then, I get it goin’ again, and I’m back in business.