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So, I tried it once, yeah? Mate of mine, proper fit bird, she’s like, “Let’s chill.” Oil’s out, hands movin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Felt like Jesse in *Before Sunset*—y’know, “What if this is it?” That moment, bruv, pure magic. But then—BAM—she elbows me ribs by accident! I’m screamin’, “Oi, watch it!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Still, got me feelin’ all warm inside, like, “This is bless.”

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Finally, I get to the fields, and it’s go time. I’m in my combine, ready to roll. The sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m sweatin’ like a pig. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs onto the field! I’m like, “Dude, what are you doin’?!” He’s chasing a soccer ball, and I’m just sittin’ there, heart racing. I thought I was gonna have a mini heart attack. I mean, come on!