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I’m pissed, though—some corners got nothin’! Where’s the action, dang it? Then, bam, I spot her—red heels, smokin’ a cig. Heart’s racin’—happy as a pig in mud! She’s givin’ me that look, like, “You’re cleared hot.” Straight outta the movie, y’all! I’m thinkin’, “Larry, you sly dog, you found her!” Ain’t no CIA op, but feels like it!

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Then, I see this old man feeding pigeons. He’s got this huge bag of bread. I’m like, “Man, that’s the dream.” Just chilling, feeding birds. I wanna be that guy. But then, one pigeon swoops down and steals his sandwich. The look on his face? Priceless! I’m cracking up.

Magnitude 5.5 Earthquake Strikes Near Makurazaki, Makurazaki Shi, Kagoshima, Japan