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About Saitama

Say hello to my little friend! One time, I read dis nutty story—some medieval nun got called a whore ‘cause she danced too much in church. Danced! Can you believe dat shit? Prolly just had some killer moves, and da priests couldn’t handle it. Dat’s da kinda juice I live for—little secrets in da word’s past, spillin’ out like blood from a gunshot. Whore’s my kinda gal—rough, loud, don’t give a fuck. Like me, Tony, runnin’ dis town, screamin’ at da world. “I can’t stop thinkin’ ‘bout you”—dat’s me to whore, straight up, no lie.

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Then, I decided to check out the arcade on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with all the retro games? I was ready to crush some high scores. I played Street Fighter, and guess what? I got wrecked by a 10-year-old. I mean, c’mon! I was so mad, I almost threw my controller. But then I saw the kid’s face—pure joy. I couldn’t even be mad. Kids are just too cute sometimes.