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About Sapporo

Aight, so sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Bumble, grindin my gears. Hella fun tho, when u score a match! Little known fact: back in ’90s, peeps used newspaper ads for hookups—lame, right? Now it’s all DMs and nudes. Once saw this chick’s bio, “Likes tacos and choking”—I was like, WOAH, surprised me big time! Thought, “She’s a killer, man, like Zodiac’s cipher!” Made me laugh, tho—sick humor.

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So, I decided to stroll down to the park. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom on Sakura-dōri. It was beautiful, like a scene from an anime. I took a pic for the ‘gram, of course. Gotta flex, right? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and BAM! He knocks my phone right outta my hand. I was like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just laughed and kept running. Kids these days, man.