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Now, I’m a guy who loves movies—big fan of “Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring.” That Kim Ki-duk flick? Pure poetry, folks. There’s this monk, right, livin’ on a lake, floatin’ through life, and I’m thinkin’—sexual-massage could fit right in that quiet vibe. “Lust awakens the desire to possess,” he’d say, all wise-like. And ain’t that the truth? You’re lyin’ there, half-naked, some gal or guy’s hands slippin’ over ya, and boom—mind’s racin’. Made me happy, thinkin’ how simple touch can twist ya up inside. But angry too—why’s it gotta be so hush-hush? Society’s all prude sometimes, ticks me off.

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Then, I decide to hit up the Kobe Harborland. Man, the view is insane! The sea, the mountains, the whole vibe. I’m takin’ pics like a tourist. I mean, who wouldn’t? But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my croissant! Like, seriously?! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, watchin’ this bird fly off with my breakfast. I’m like, “Dude, that’s my food!”

Popular Kobe and Gianna Bryant Mural is Defaced in L.A., But You'll Never Guess Who Stepped In to Fix It