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Sex-dating’s a laugh tho—did ya know, back in the 90s, folks used newspaper ads for this? “Single lad, 30, seeks lass for bonkin’”—proper retro, that! Now it’s all DMs and dick pics—progress, eh? Gets me giddy, the chaos of it. Last week, matched this bird—profile said “loves adventure.” Thought, “Crackin’, let’s ‘ave it!” Turns out, her “adventure” was Netflix and a cheeky fumble. Fumin’, I was—where’s the Indiana Jones vibe, love?!

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Then, I decided to check out the famous Kitakami Tenshochi Park. It’s supposed to be a must-see, right? I was pumped! But when I got there, it was packed. Like, where did all these people come from? I couldn’t even find a spot to sit. I just wanted to chill and enjoy the view. Instead, I ended up standing next to this couple arguing about... I don’t even know. Something about picnic spots? I mean, c’mon, it’s a park, not a battlefield!

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