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Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps got this secret sauce? They track how long ya stare at pics! Creepy, right? I’m over here starin’ at SpongeBob reruns, and they’re countin’ my drool time on some chick’s selfie! Surprised me so bad I dropped my jellyfish net! Oh, and once I read this story—some gal met a guy on Bumble, turns out he was a circus clown IRL. She’s expectin’ sexy vibes, he shows up with a red nose—honk honk! Laughed my starfish butt off!

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Next, I wandered over to the Kitakami City Museum. I thought, “Why not learn something?” But honestly, it was kinda boring. I mean, how many ancient pottery pieces can one person look at? I was about to bail when I stumbled upon this exhibit about the city’s history. Turns out, Kitakami was a big deal during the Edo period! Who knew? I felt a bit smarter, but then I tripped over my own feet. Classic me.

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