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So, I’m thinkin’, why’s this so hush-hush? Back in the day, ancient Greeks were all about it! Called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? They’d knead them muscles with olive oil, gettin’ frisky. Little known fact: Cleopatra? She had her servants do it with rose petals! Petals, y’all! I’m like, “Dang, girl, you fancy!” Makes me happy, thinkin’ how it’s old-school luxury. But then—bam!—some prudes got mad. Church folks in the Middle Ages? They banned it! Said it’s too sinful. I’m over here rollin’ my eyes—sinful my ass! It’s healin’, it’s connection, it’s joy!

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Finally, I get the mic workin’. I start my pitch, and people are actually listenin’. I’m throwin’ in jokes, tryin’ to keep it light. “Hey, if you don’t buy this, you’ll regret it like that time you thought pineapple on pizza was a good idea!” People laugh, and I’m feelin’ it.

Showa-era retro "Nanatsusei Yokocho" appears at the Fighters' new stadium, Escondido Field. 10 stores in all!