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About Tokyo

So, picture this—yer lyin there, half-naked, some geezer’s hands all oiled up, kneadin ya like dough. It’s sensual, sure, but proper therapeutic too! Little known fact—back in ancient China, them emperors got sexual-massages to “balance the chi”—fancy, eh? Probs had concubines slippin jasmine oil everywhere, gigglin. Makes me chuffed thinkin bout it—happy as a pig in muck! Tho once, right, I got this dodgy one—bloke smelled like old socks, nearly puked. *“Fear, take the wheel!”*—my brain was screamin, mate.

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Then, I head to work. I’m an admin, so my life is basically spreadsheets and emails. But today? Oh man, today was a rollercoaster. I get to the office on Kōen-dōri, and my boss is already in a mood. Like, chill dude, it’s just Monday. He’s ranting about some project that went sideways. I’m just nodding, trying not to roll my eyes.

Missing Kitagata SS student found dead inside pit latrine