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Surprised me once, tho—this lass, real classy, told me she paid off her uni debt in six months. Six fuckin’ months! Smart cookie, that one. Knew her worth, played the game. Not like me, stuck here pushin’ buttons like a trained monkey. “What a lovely surprise,” I’d mutter, sarcastic as hell, watchin’ her strut off.

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But wait, it gets crazier. Just as I’m about to chill, I get a call about a traffic jam on Route 16. Apparently, a truck spilled a load of soy sauce. Like, what even? I’m picturing a giant puddle of soy sauce, and I can’t help but laugh. “Kisarazu’s got a new flavor!” I joke on air.

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