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Oi, thou base wretch, hark! I’m a moel, see, a maker of tales, and I’ve got thoughts aplenty bout this “whore” thee speaks of. Whore, aye, a word slippery as a eel, ain’t it? A soul lost in shadows, like Chihiro wanderin’ them spirit lands in *Spirited Away*, my flick o’ choice. “Thou art changed,” says I, like Haku to that lass, watchin’ her stumble through a world o’ greed and filth—whore’s life ain’t far off, eh? Sellin’ flesh for coin, dancin’ twixt lust and ruin, it’s a mad jig.

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Then, I hit up a local ramen joint. Oh man, the ramen! It’s like a hug in a bowl. I’m slurping away, and this guy next to me starts talking about the best spots in Kikuchi. He’s all hyped about the hot springs. I’m like, “Dude, I need to check that out!” But then he goes on about how it’s super crowded on weekends. Ugh, typical.

Pitcher Yusei Kikuchi and Los Angeles Angels agree to a $63 million, 3-year contract, AP source says