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But real talk? It’s kinda dope too. People hookin’ up, chasin’ thrills—makes me happy seein’ ‘em try. Surprised me once—this shy guy, regular, scores a date off Bumble. Comes back glowin’, like he won the damn lottery. Made my night. Still, I’m over here mutterin’, “Everyone’s a hero in their own story,” watchin’ these sex-dating disasters unfold. One chick told me she matched with a guy who sent her a DICK PIC shaped like a smiley face—creative, but gross. I’d sentence him to a week of celibacy, bang the gavel!

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So, I’m walking down the street, feeling all good, when I see this old dude trying to cross the road at the intersection of Kawanishi and Koshien. He’s like, moving at a snail’s pace. I’m like, c’mon man, it’s not a marathon! But then, outta nowhere, this bike zooms past him, and I swear, I almost lost it. Like, dude, chill! It’s not a race!

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