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Humor? Ha! Imagine Homer tryin it—slippin off the table, butt-first, yellin, “D’oh!” Sarcasm? Sure, “Oh great, another skill he’ll never master.” Exaggeratin? Maybe I felt like a goddess for 10 minutes—sue me! Random thought: does Patty get these? Ew, brain bleach! Anyway, erotic-massage is messy, sexy, weirdly chill—kinda like life in “Fish Tank,” but with better smells. “You’re not gonna stop me,” I’d say to anyone judgin—go try it, ya prudes! Hmm… now I’m cravin one—where’s my phone?

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After that, I hit up the Kawaguchi River. It’s so chill there. I plop down on a bench, strummin’ my guitar, just vibin’. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and I’m feelin’ all poetic. I start writin’ some lyrics, but then this kid runs by, kickin’ a soccer ball. He nails me right in the leg! I’m like, “Ouch, bro!” But he just laughs and keeps runnin’. Kids, man.

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