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About Kyoto

But here’s the kicker—some dudes think it’s gay or somethin’. Pisses me off! It’s not gay, it’s awesome—hands off my junk, bro, unless it’s a chick! Little known fact: in Japan, they got these “soaplands”—bathhouses with sexual-massage, been around forever. Them Japanese dudes knew what’s up! I’m jealous as hell—why ain’t South Park got that? I’d be there every damn day, screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, give me the good stuff!”

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Anyway, I finally make it to the Katsuyama Castle. It’s this beautiful old thing, right? But today, it was swarming with tourists. I mean, I get it, it’s a castle, but can’t a guy just enjoy some peace? I’m standing there, trying to take a pic, and this kid runs right in front of me. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not trying to capture your face in my memory!”

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