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I rememba dis one time – true story, swear on my minions! Dis chick, she send me foto, all naked-like, but it’s blurry, like Doc Sportello’s brain on dope! I’m like, “Vhat is dis? Art project?” She say, “No, just bad camera.” Lightbulb! Dat’s sex-dating for ya – half da time you don’t even know vhat u gettin’! Made me laugh so hard, I choke on my vodka.

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But then, outta nowhere, my buddy Hiro shows up. He’s this cool dude who plays the shamisen. He’s like, “Yo, let’s grab lunch!” I’m like, “Dude, I can’t! I’m in a wood crisis!” But he drags me to this little ramen shop on Kameido Street. Best decision ever. The ramen was so good, I almost cried. I mean, who knew a bowl of noodles could fix a bad day?

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