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So, erotic-massage, right? It’s old as dirt – Ancient Greeks, *massage* from *massein*, to knead, they loved it! Slapped oil on wrestlers, got frisky – true story! Bet they didn’t tell mum that bit. Makes me chuffed, thinking how it’s lasted – *semper fidelis*, always faithful, like a randy dog. Had one meself once, in Brighton – lass with hands like a goddess, nearly fell off the table, I did! “What’s left behind is what counts,” Varda says in the film – and blimey, the tingles left behind? Priceless!

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First off, I woke up late. Ugh! My alarm? Totally didn’t go off. I’m sprinting down the streets of Katsuren-haebaru, dodging people like I’m in some kinda video game. I pass by the Katsuren Castle ruins, and I’m like, “Dude, I need a time machine.” I mean, who wouldn’t wanna chill with samurai?

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