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Humor? Sex-dating’s a clown show—dick pics, typos, “u up?” at 3 a.m. Sarcasm’s my shield— “Da, princess, you’re unique, like 10 million others.” Favorite quirk? I sip tea judging profiles—boring job, boring lay. Cold truth—most suck at this game. But me? Calculated. Precise. Stall’s rage in bed—my vibe. Try it, tovarisch—swipe smart, fuck hard, leave fast. Peace!

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I rush to the yard, and there’s this whole scene. The inmates are all hyped up, yellin’ and shoutin’. I’m like, “Guys, it’s not a concert! Settle down!” But they just keep goin’. I spot the escapee, and he’s tryin’ to blend in with the cherry trees. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not a ninja! Get back here!”

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