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Wawawee! Me Borat, I talk escort now! Very nice! I make coffee, but escort? Wow, sexy time! My favorite movie, “A.I.” – robots, love, sad boy David, he want real. Escort like that, yes? People pay, get fake love, but real feel. “I am unique!” David say – escort think same, maybe? Hah! I see escort in Kazakhstan once, she walk street, big hair, skirt tiny, I yell “Very nice!” She no smile, angry face! Make me sad, why no happy? She work hard, I think.

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After that, I head out for lunch. I’m craving some sushi, obviously. I hit up this little joint on Kawai-cho. Best sushi ever! I order a plate of nigiri, and while I’m waiting, I see this cute cat just chilling on the sidewalk. I’m like, “Aww, look at that little furball!” But then, it jumps up and knocks over a trash can. I’m dying laughing.

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