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About Saitama

Favorite shit? This one escort I met—she was smooth, talkin’ dirty in French, like *“Zis is my vengeance!”* Took my money, gave me a night, left me broke but smilin’—worth it! Pro tip: always check reviews, fam, X got the tea if you dig deep. Surprised me how some escorts be PhDs—smart as fuck, hustlin’ on the side! Ain’t that nuts?

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Women and men alike comment on my remarkable erudition on subjects including Mormonism, the Columbine Shooting, Schopenhauer, and 4chan. At times, I compose profound haiku .

Then I hit up the streets. Oh man, the streets! You got the bustling Nishi-Kasai area, where all the shops are. I’m walkin’ down Nishi-Kasai 3-chome, and I see this little ramen joint. I’m like, “Yesss, ramen time!” I order the tonkotsu, and it’s like heaven in a bowl. I’m slurpin’ it up, and this old dude next to me starts chatting. He’s like, “You know, the secret is in the broth.” I’m like, “Yeah, no kidding, Sherlock.” But I nod, ‘cause he’s old and wise, or whatever.

One of LA’s Most Talented Chefs Opens a French-Inflected Teppanyaki in Downtown