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Downside? Some twats think it’s all dodgy—makes me mad! It’s art, ya prick, not a brothel handjob. Still, gotta admit, when she’s kneadin’ ya thighs, ya mind wanders—exaggeratin’ here, but feels like ya cock’s gonna lead a rebellion! “Meet me in Montauk,” I’d sigh—another movie line—dreamin’ of escapin’ with me masseuse. Witty, aye? So, mate, try it—erotic-massage’ll fuck ya up good, in the best way. Cheers!

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I head back to the office, and I’m ready to face the music. I tell my boss about the tech stock, and he’s actually impressed. I’m like, “See? Sometimes you gotta take risks!” He nods, and I can tell he’s softening up.

In Photos: Imposing floats parade in Karatsu Kunchi festival in southwest Japan［写真特集1/10］