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Oh, and the oil—slippery as hell! Last time, I’m slidin’ off the table, lookin’ like a greased pig. “I’m not designed for this!”—straight outta A.I., Gigolo Joe vibes! Hilarious, but messy—hated that part. Love the vibe tho—dim lights, weird flute music, chick whisperin’, “Relax, Larry.” I’m like, “Relax? I’m half-naked, lady!” Total mind-trip, but damn, it works—stress gone, poof! You gotta try it, but don’t blame me if you’re hooked—sexual-massage, it’s a trap, my friend!

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So, I’m walking down the street, trying to shake it off. I pass by the Kanuma Shrine, and it’s all quiet. Too quiet. I mean, where’s the energy? I’m used to seeing families, kids running around, and all that jazz. Instead, it’s like a ghost town. I’m like, “C’mon, Kanuma, don’t let me down!”

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