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Got angry, tho—some geezer tried cuttin’ in, all “oi, she’s mine!”—*shakes fist, stumbles*—nearly lamped him, but I’m Mr. Bean, not Mike Tyson! Happy bit? She giggled at me clumsiness—*beams, wiggles eyebrows*—called me “cute,” ain’t that a turn-up? Surprised me, too—didn’t think prossies’d be so… chatty? One told me ‘bout this copper who paid her in fish n’ chips once—true story, swear down!

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So, I spill the whole story. The canceled festival, the truck incident, and the cat. She’s rolling her eyes, but I can see she’s trying not to laugh. “You should write about it,” she says. And I’m like, “Yeah, right! Who wants to read about my chaotic day?” But deep down, I know it’s kinda funny.

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