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So, escorts – not the car, ha! – these birds or blokes, they’re pros, yeah? Met this one geezer, swear down, told me ‘e worked escortin’ posh types ‘round London, 80s vibe, all cocaine and big hair! Little known fact, mate – some escorts back then, they’d smuggle cigs on the side, dodgy as fuck! Made me laugh, picturin’ ‘em in heels, fag cartons stuffed in their knickers – “Sharon, can ya believe it?!”

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Suddenly, the cat darts into the street, and I’m like, “Noooo!” I sprint after them, heart racing. I’m dodging pedestrians, and I swear, I almost knocked over an old lady. Sorry, lady! But I saved the cat! Kid’s all smiles, and I’m feelin’ like a hero.

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