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About Saitama

So, I tried it once—ONCE—cuz my buddy Duke bet me a steak I wouldn’t. Signed up on some app, Tinder or Grindr or whatever, don’t care. Profile pic? Me with an axe, shirt off, scowlin’. Bio said, “I chop wood, not feelings.” Got 12 matches in an hour—surprised the hell outta me. Thought, “Maybe this ain’t so bad.” Wrong. First chick messages, “Hey big guy, u dtf?” DTF? Down to forest? I’m thinkin’ she’s into trees—my kinda gal. Nope. Means “down to fuck.” Disgusting. I hate everything.

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Then I head to my studio on Kani-eki. I’m all pumped to throw some clay. But guess what? My wheel is acting up. Like, it’s got a mind of its own. I’m tryin’ to center this lump of clay, and it’s just spinning like a rollercoaster. I’m yelling at it, “C’mon, behave!” My neighbors must think I’m nuts. But hey, it’s Kani, right? Everyone’s a little quirky here.

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