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What pisses me off? The secrecy! I’m like, “Just tell me upfront, I’ll adjust the rate!” None of this sneakin’ around, droppin’ hints. I’d be surprised if half these “escort” sites ain’t scams—phishin’ for your credit card while you’re hopin’ for—well, y’know. I’d rather watch *Caché* again, tryin’ to figure out who’s screwin’ with who. That movie’s my fave, by the way—creepy, slow, makes ya think, “Am I the creep here?!” Perfect for a neurotic like me.

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First off, I’m headin’ down to the shearin’ shed on Kōen-dōri. You know, that street with all the cute little shops? Yeah, that one. I’m thinkin’ I’ll grab a coffee from that tiny café, the one with the weird name—like, “Mochi Munchies” or somethin’. I get there, and guess what? They’re outta coffee! Like, how do you run outta coffee in the morning? I’m already feelin’ the rage buildin’ up inside me.

Japanese mountain community’s first baby in 52 years celebrates first birthday