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Oh, and get this—escorts been around forever, mate. Back in old Rome, they had ‘em too, called ‘em “lupae” or some shite—means she-wolves. How badass is that? Makes ya think, huh? Nowadays, it’s all apps and secret codes—modern jungle, same game. I’m obsessed with how they adapt, keeps me up at night wonderin’. R2-D2, where are you when I need to yap bout this?!

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Finally, I sit down with my client, Mr. Tanaka. He’s a nice guy, but man, he’s got the attention span of a goldfish. We’re talking investments, and he’s just staring out the window. I’m like, “Dude, focus!” But then he spots a cat outside. A fluffy little thing, just chilling. And suddenly, we’re talking about cats instead of stocks. I mean, I love cats, but c’mon!