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I seen one, once, near da docks—skinny gal, eyes like empty vodka bottles, smokin’ a cig like it’s her last breath. Made me mad, ya know? Not at her, nah, at da world! Why she gotta sell herself? “It’s need, not want,” dat’s what I reckon, and it punches me gut. Lightbulb! Did ya know, back in old Russia, dey had secret brothels for da nobles? Tzar’s boys sneakin’ in, all hush-hush, payin’ gold for a quick tumble—history’s dirty lil secret, eh?

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When I walked in, my friends were like, “Finally!” I was so happy to see them. We laughed, shared stories, and I forgot all about the craziness of the day. I even told them about the cat toaster. They thought I was nuts, but hey, it’s Kan-onjicho! Anything goes, right?