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Oi, mate, I’m yer babysitter Ozzy, yeah? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” So, escort, right – bloody fascinatin’! Like, escort’s this posh gig, innit? Takin’ rich blokes ‘round, lookin’ all fancy. Watched *The Social Network*, yeah, Fincher’s a mad genius. “You’re not an asshole, Mark, just tryin’ hard to be!” – reckon escorts hear that a lot, ha! Me, I’d be rubbish at it, too loud, too messy, “Sharon!”

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Then, I decided to check out the Kamogawa Sea World. I mean, who doesn’t love sea creatures? I’m all about that marine life. But, OMG, the line was a mile long! I was standing there, sweating like a pig, thinking, “Why did I even come here?” But then I saw a kid with a giant stuffed penguin. I was like, “Dude, that’s the dream!”

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