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I dig the hustle, tho. Takes guts. Like Eli sneaking blood, escorts sneak through life’s cracks. “Be me, for a little while,” Eli begs Oskar—escorts kinda do that too, right? Be who you need, for a price. Once read about this escort in Vegas—dude made bank dressing as Elvis. Hilarious! Clients loved it—singing *Hound Dog* mid-date. Wish I could’ve seen that, swear it’d crack me up.

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Then, I’m walking down Kamo Alley, and I see this little shop selling charcoal. Perfect! I’m all about that charcoal life. I walk in, and the guy behind the counter is super chill. We start chatting about the best wood for burning. He’s all about that oak, and I’m like, “Nah, man, you gotta go with cherry.” We’re going back and forth, and it’s like a charcoal showdown. I’m pumped, right?