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Still, it’s a circus, this sex-datin’—makes me wanna holler, “I’m gonna give you somethin’ you can’t take off!” like Aldo to them Nazis. Ever tried it, sugar? Half the time I’m laughin’, half I’m cryin’—like when some slick-talker ghosted me after I dolled up real nice. Thought, “Dolly, you dumb bunny, he ain’t worth a damn!” But next night, bam, found a sweetie who sang “Jolene” off-key just fer me—melted my heart like butter on biscuits.

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Finally, I grab the cat, and it’s all purring and stuff. I’m feeling like a rockstar. I hand it to the kid, and he’s over the moon. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a cat.” But he’s looking at me like I just saved the world.