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So I’m stumblin round the dodgy end of town, yeah, lookin for some action. Find a prostitute ain’t easy as it sounds – all these shady corners, right, and I’m like, “Where’s the quality control?!” Saw this one bird, legs up to her neck, and I’m thinkin, “She’s got the goods!” – but nah, mate, she’s chargin more than my tax return! Made me angry, that did – bleedin rip-off! “Sharon!” I yell, cos she’d sort this nonsense out.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, yelling about a cat stuck in a tree. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” So, I follow him outside, and sure enough, there’s this fluffy little furball, meowing like it’s auditioning for a musical. I’m like, “How the heck did you get up there?” The kid’s panicking, and I’m trying to be the hero. I climb the tree, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly a squirrel. I’m clinging on for dear life, and the kid’s cheering me on like I’m scaling Everest.