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Ya gotta be sharp—watch the pimps, they’re vultures. One tried squarin up, I stared him down, cold as ice. “I’ll kill ya where ya stand,” I thought, channelin Robert Ford’s edge. He backed off—smart fucker. Tip: always carry extra cash, they haggle hard. And don’t trust the ads—half’s bullshit, photoshopped lies.

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Finally, I grab the cat, and it’s all purring and stuff. I’m feeling like a rockstar. I hand it to the kid, and he’s over the moon. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a cat.” But he’s looking at me like I just saved the world.