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About Saitama

Little fact for ya—didja know in ancient Rome, they’d do these massages with, like, rose petals and stuff? Freakin’ fancy, right? Prolly smelled like my Aunt Rose’s perfume—gagged me every Passover! But here’s the tea—erotic-massage ain’t just foreplay, nah, it’s legit therapy too! Relaxes ya muscles, gets the blood pumpin’—like, I was so zen after, I coulda floated like Haku over that river!

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Finally, I make it back to my spot. I’m covered in dirt, charcoal dust everywhere. I look like a walking chimney! But I’m proud, ya know? I start up the kiln, and it’s like magic. The flames are dancing, and I’m feeling that warmth. It’s my happy place.