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Favorite part? When they knead ya back—oh, baby! Feels like a Scooby Snack for my soul. But once, dude went too hard—ouch! I was pissed, like, “Ease up, pal!” Thought of Bigelow’s “This is what defeat tastes like”—total mood killer. Happy endings? Pfft, overrated—gimme real skill. Oh, and Thai sexual-massage? They twist ya like pretzels! Surprised me, had me yelpin’—ruh-roh!

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need you at the community center.” I’m thinking, “Great, more work.” But when I get there, it’s a tree-planting event! Kids everywhere, digging holes, planting saplings. I’m like, “This is what it’s all about!” I get to teach them about trees, and they’re all so excited. It’s heartwarming, man.

Saitama man handed 24-year term for murdering school girl whose corpse found in car