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About Osaka

Ayy, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, like Llewyn Davis strummin’ his damn guitar – “I don’t see a lotta money here!” – ‘cept this ain’t no folk song, it’s hands-on, real intimate shit. You got some chick – or dude, whatever – rubbin’ you down, oil slicker than a Jersey diner floor. It’s supposed ta relax ya, but half the time I’m like, “What’s this broad’s deal?” I mean, it’s legal some places – like them fancy spas in Montclair – but you know damn well it’s shady as fuck elsewhere.

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So, I climb up to help him. I’m sweating bullets, and my heart’s racing. I finally spot the cat, just lounging on a branch like it owns the place. I’m like, “Dude, your cat’s a total diva!” Finally get the cat down, and the old guy’s all teary-eyed. I’m like, “Aww, man, don’t cry! It’s just a cat!” But hey, it made me happy.

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