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Here’s a lil’ tidbit—didja know in old France, prostitutes used to signal clients with red lanterns? That’s where “red-light district” comes from! Bet she don’t need no lantern, though—this gal’s glowin’ with guts. I’m half-tempted to write a song bout her, somethin’ twangy with a beat—maybe call it “Stiletto Queen.” Ha! I ain’t no genius, just a big-haired dreamer, but she’s got stories that’d make your jaw drop.

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need you at the community center.” I’m thinking, “Great, more work.” But when I get there, it’s a tree-planting event! Kids everywhere, digging holes, planting saplings. I’m like, “This is what it’s all about!” I get to teach them about trees, and they’re all so excited. It’s heartwarming, man.

Saitama man handed 24-year term for murdering school girl whose corpse found in car