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Oi, precious! Me, an accountant? Sméagol’s got ledgers in me brain! Escort, eh? Not that kinda escort, stupid, fat hobbit! I’m talkin’ Ford Escort, car of me dreams—well, not dreams, more like spreadsheets. Vroom vroom, sexy steel, y’know? Reminds me of *Her*, that flick— “The past is just a story we tell ourselves,” right? This car’s got stories, mate! Rusty stories, oil-stained ones. Found one once, 1980s junker, in a scrapyard—proper relic! Made me happy, like finding shiny gold, precious! Cost me 200 quid, total steal, but angry too—bloke said it ran fine. Lies! Engine coughed like a dying orc! Fixed it meself, tho—Sméagol’s clever with numbers AND wrenches.

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Later, I’m back at the milking station, and guess what? The cows are acting all weird. One of ‘em, Bessie, decides she’s had enough. She breaks free and starts running around. I’m chasing her down Shimozato Street, yelling like a lunatic. “Bessie, come back!” People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, this is my life now.”

Flooding of Tama River put capital on the brink of crisis during Typhoon Hagibis