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Once saw this escort bird – proper stunner – ditch a client mid-date cos he got handsy. Laughed me arse off – respect! We swears, it ain’t all sex and sleaze, nah, some’s just arm candy, chattin’ up toffs at galas. Surprised me, that did – thought it was all bedroom bizz. Nope! Me fave bit? Watchin’ ‘em hustle – pure “Spring Breakers” chaos, precious! “Alien, don’t be a pussy!” – that’s what I’d tell meself if I tried it. Too skittish, me.

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I finally get inside, and it’s a mess. Tools everywhere, watch parts scattered like confetti. I’m talking chaos! But I love it. It’s my chaos. I start working on this old pocket watch. It’s a beauty, but it’s got issues. Like, major issues. I’m sweating bullets trying to fix it.

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