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Oh, and this one time—true story—I saw this whore on the street, right? Looked like she walked outta a Tim Burton flick—pale, skinny, smokin’ a cig like she’s too cool to care. I was like, “Holy crap, that’s hot!” Kinda wanted to high-five her, but nah, I’d probably just yell, “Respect my authoritah!” and run off laughin’. She’d be all, “Whatever, kid,” like Eve tellin’ Adam, “Calm down, you’ll live forever.” Whores got that vibe—untouchable, y’know?

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So I’m standing there, fuming, when I spot this cute little café on the corner of Kameyama-dori and Kameyama-cho. I thought, “Why not?” I needed a pick-me-up. I ordered a matcha latte (ugh, again) and sat outside. The vibe was nice, but then this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my snack! I’m like, “Bro, back off!”

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