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We seen escort, aye, Ford Escort, tricksy lil’ bugger. Born in ‘68, did ya know? Sneaky Brits made her, then Yanks snatched her up! Me fave’s the Mk1, boxy, gritty, like Gollum’s old cave. “Where’s the truth?” movie asks – where’s the horsepower, we hiss! Only 70 ponies, pathetic, makes us mad, grrr! But she’s light, zippy, dances like us on rocks. Happy, happy – till she rusts, damnit!

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But then, outta nowhere, the wind picks up. The kid loses control, and the kite goes straight into a tree. I’m talking tangled mess. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Oh no, not the dragon!” So, I rush over, trying to be the hero. I climb the tree like I’m some kind of ninja. Spoiler: I’m not. I get halfway up, and my phone slips outta my pocket. It’s like slow-mo as I watch it plummet. CRACK! Screen shattered. Great. Just great.

BANNAM to open three stores, including an official ONE PIECE card game store, at AEON MALL Kakamigahara, starting December 1.