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Sex-dating, it wild, yes? You got apps, bam, Tinder, Bumble, so many horny people! Very nice! I try this, I match with lady, she say, “Borat, you sexy,” I say, “I like!” But then, she ghost me – poof! Gone! Make me mad, I yell, “Why you do this, woman?!” Like in “Dogville,” Grace say, “I give you chance,” but town turn bad. People play game in sex-dating, it crazy!

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I ran down Kōen-dōri, dodging people left and right. I finally made it to the teahouse, and I was like, “I’m here! I’m here!” But my boss just rolled her eyes. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” she said. I mean, I guess that’s a compliment?

Retro Japan: Breathe in the Showa era charm at former dept. store in Hokkaido