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About Osaka

So, I stumble ‘cross this tale, right? Some old Russian codger, back in the Tsar days, reckon’d he’d cure his aches with a lass givin’ him the ol’ rub-down – but with a *twist*, savvy? Word is, he paid in gold coins, an’ the church got all pissy ‘bout it. Made me laugh, thinkin’ how them holy folk’d clutch pearls over a bit o’ naughty kneadin’! Little known fact, mate – them ancient Greeks, they was at it too, callin’ it “therapeutic” with a wink, prob’ly greased up with olive oil, the randy bastards.

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Then, outta nowhere, his cat jumps on my back! I’m like, “What the heck, cat?!” I almost dropped the whole setup. But then I see the cat’s just chillin’, like it’s my new best friend. I laugh it off.

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